Under Construction

Photo by Juri Noga

Hi friends, I’m sorry for having gone radio silent over here for a few weeks. I’ve been taking a little holiday from writing.

It’s no secret that I struggle with depression and existing with a generally blue disposition lurking underneath my jokes and performative socializing. For ages, especially during quarantine, I was enjoying 2-3 cocktails a night to wind down and kind of “turn off” the day. About a month ago I woke up with a hangover headache and decided I was tired of feeling that way at my own hand. I’ve already got enough problems to manage, after all! So, I haven’t had a drink in about a month and have been enjoying the better sleep and giving my liver a well-deserved break.

I’ve also made daily commitments to reading a certain number of pages of books to meet my EOY reading goal I set back in January and to practicing yoga.

I’d been crawling my way through Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score for months, but recently it became a fascinating snowball I couldn’t stop tumbling through. The book is religiously cited and backed by research from cutting edge medical professionals who trained in the best schools under the best doctors. This book should be required reading for anyone living. Seriously! It’s about how happenings in one’s life manifest in the physical body, and it is enlightening in a way I’ve never experienced. My psychiatrist agrees it is critical reading.

Because so much of it’s westernized, I was kind of surprised to find one of the chapters dedicated to the power of yoga and its healing qualities. So, in a commitment to heal my body and idealize my life with the cards I’ve been dealt, I’ve been trying to practice everyday to take myself out of my head to stretch and breathe. I’ve written about her a few times, but I adore Yoga with Adriene, a lovely person who posts free yoga videos on YouTube. She has a practice for every ailment and hobby ranging from 12-50 minutes. Highly recommend.

Anyway, I’ve been a bit focused on getting into my body as a way to access and maybe clean out my head. TBD on how it’s going, but it can’t hurt to read more, practice yoga, and drink less, right? So, I’m a bit “under construction.”

So is my website!

I’ve been working with a lovely, tenacious website designer Kiki & Co Creative to design a beautiful site for Bummed Out Bailey and I’ve been revisiting my content calendar to refresh my offerings here on the blog. I’ve got some new ideas, mostly making the content more robust and hopefully some things to make you laugh. It should be finished soon, and I’ll do a big relaunch that I hope you’ll all love as much as I do.

Thank you to all of you who so faithfully read my musings and support me in every way. I am so grateful. Until the relaunch, take care of you the best you can… and maybe stretch your hamstrings. The holidays can be stressful and take a toll, and I anticipate COVID holidays to be strange to say the least.

The other day I started typing into Google “will I ever get over my dead dog.” After I’d typed the first three words, “will I ever,” the rest auto-populated with some heartbreaking things.

“Will I ever find love?”

“Will I ever be happy?”

“Will I ever get married?”

It reminded me of how fragile we really are, no matter what kind of façade people present. Deep inside, so many people have these questions. This was a reminder to me to be gentle, patient, and kind. To dole out the benefit of the doubt generously. To acknowledge the inherent pain of the human condition and give people a break.

Be sure to give that grace to yourself, too.

Happy holidays, and I’ll see you again soon with a whole(!) new(!) style(!!!).


More on Bummed Out Bailey:
Mental Health: Ho Ho HELP
Recipe: Pumpkin Spice Creamer (Gluten-Free + Paleo + Vegan)
Recipe: Maple Pecan Sweet Potato Casserole (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

The best way you can support me is to share my blog with friends! Another way to support is on my Patreon where you’ll find exclusive content. I can also be found on InstagramFacebook, and Twitter. To subscribe to Bummed Out Bailey by email please complete the form below.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Postscript Golden Retriever

Mental Health: Ways to Perk Up When You Feel Like You’ve Been Percocet’d

Photo by visuals on Unsplash

Percocet’d? I’m making words up now. Is everyone okay? Am I okay? Only time will tell! Fun mystery!

I’m having some bad days and some okay days, not any particularly good days. Things that have perked up my mood are organizing things around the apartment, going for walks or doing yoga, reading a light, “for fun” book, cooking, baking, and keeping my usual morning and night routines. I say morning and night proverbially. Because… I keep vampiric hours.


‘Tined or not, I always love doing Yoga With Adriene. It’s free, approachable, and she’s lovely. 10/10 recommend. Even if you’ve never done yoga, she has a practice for you. Since staying in can be so sedentary, especially in a NYC apartment (approx. size of postage stamp), it’s nice to stretch ya hamstrings.

I’m reading dense things for school, but my light, “for fun” read right now is A Sky Painted Gold by Laura Wood, very Gatsby-esque. It’s an escape. While it’s great to buy physical and digital books to support authors, if you’re unable to financially and your library is currently closed (like the New York Public Library is), check out your library’s e-book rentals online. Of course you can read from an e-reader, but if you don’t have one you can also read from a phone (like me), laptop, etc.

I love a vegetarian green curry over basmati rice and tried out a new recipe. It’s comforting to eat something I make from scratch and I recommend doing the same if you’re able to. It’s nice to have a break from frozen meals and canned stuff. I have some similar recipes I’ve made here on Bummed Out Bailey:

Recipe: Thai Curry Vegetables (Gluten-Free + Vegan)
Recipe: THE Stew, AKA Spiced Chickpea Stew with Coconut and Tumeric (Gluten-Free + Vegan)
Recipe: Malai Kofta (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

In the mornings I chug some water, put in my contacts, wash my face, brush my teeth, apply toner, clean my mouthguard, put the kettle on for tea, make the bed, put on my serums and sunscreen, then get dressed for the day. I drink a pot of tea from my great aunt Ann’s teapot, eat, and then take my meds. Every. Morning.

At night Rick and I do a check-in (we take turns saying something we appreciated about each other that day, something that’s on our mind, and how the other can help), I take my night meds, turn down the bed, shower, change into my PJs, wash my face, brush my teeth, apply toner, clean my mouthguard, floss, use mouthwash, put on night and eye creams, apply retinol, take out my contacts, fill up my bedside water bottle, and read myself to sleep.

Wow, that was cathartic to list out and thrilling to look up and link products! I just realized something! The stakes are so dang low that I’m excited by minutiae! Even linking something like Polident! I’ll take it! Send help! Or snacks! It seems I’m having a meltdown!

The above are just things that have been helping me. There’s a lot of content floating around the internet asserting how to best use your days during the ‘rona ‘tine, but I think the most common, important denominator is to have some kind of routine tailored to you. A routine for the ‘tine. A ‘tine for the ‘tine. I’ll see myself out.

Godspeed during this weird time.


Wednesday posts cover something that’s top of mind for me that week and are written in a short period of time. This means that editing is not strong. While it’s not my best work, it is my best, unfiltered thought.

More on Bummed Out Bailey:
Mental Health: Moving. Improving?
Mental Health: The Social Toll of Invisible Illness
Mental Health: Homebody v. Quarantine…Body?

Do you love Bummed Out Bailey? Want to help keep it going? Support me on my Patreon. Your contribution means more to me than you’ll ever know!

To subscribe to Bummed Out Bailey by email, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website and enter your info into the form. I can also be found on InstagramFacebook, and Twitter!

If you or someone you know needs help right now, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.