Hi friends, I’m sorry for having gone radio silent over here for a few weeks. I’ve been taking a little holiday from writing.
It’s no secret that I struggle with depression and existing with a generally blue disposition lurking underneath my jokes and performative socializing. For ages, especially during quarantine, I was enjoying 2-3 cocktails a night to wind down and kind of “turn off” the day. About a month ago I woke up with a hangover headache and decided I was tired of feeling that way at my own hand. I’ve already got enough problems to manage, after all! So, I haven’t had a drink in about a month and have been enjoying the better sleep and giving my liver a well-deserved break.
I’ve also made daily commitments to reading a certain number of pages of books to meet my EOY reading goal I set back in January and to practicing yoga.
I’d been crawling my way through Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score for months, but recently it became a fascinating snowball I couldn’t stop tumbling through. The book is religiously cited and backed by research from cutting edge medical professionals who trained in the best schools under the best doctors. This book should be required reading for anyone living. Seriously! It’s about how happenings in one’s life manifest in the physical body, and it is enlightening in a way I’ve never experienced. My psychiatrist agrees it is critical reading.
Because so much of it’s westernized, I was kind of surprised to find one of the chapters dedicated to the power of yoga and its healing qualities. So, in a commitment to heal my body and idealize my life with the cards I’ve been dealt, I’ve been trying to practice everyday to take myself out of my head to stretch and breathe. I’ve written about her a few times, but I adore Yoga with Adriene, a lovely person who posts free yoga videos on YouTube. She has a practice for every ailment and hobby ranging from 12-50 minutes. Highly recommend.
Anyway, I’ve been a bit focused on getting into my body as a way to access and maybe clean out my head. TBD on how it’s going, but it can’t hurt to read more, practice yoga, and drink less, right? So, I’m a bit “under construction.”
So is my website!
I’ve been working with a lovely, tenacious website designer Kiki & Co Creative to design a beautiful site for Bummed Out Bailey and I’ve been revisiting my content calendar to refresh my offerings here on the blog. I’ve got some new ideas, mostly making the content more robust and hopefully some things to make you laugh. It should be finished soon, and I’ll do a big relaunch that I hope you’ll all love as much as I do.
Thank you to all of you who so faithfully read my musings and support me in every way. I am so grateful. Until the relaunch, take care of you the best you can… and maybe stretch your hamstrings. The holidays can be stressful and take a toll, and I anticipate COVID holidays to be strange to say the least.
The other day I started typing into Google “will I ever get over my dead dog.” After I’d typed the first three words, “will I ever,” the rest auto-populated with some heartbreaking things.
“Will I ever find love?”
“Will I ever be happy?”
“Will I ever get married?”
It reminded me of how fragile we really are, no matter what kind of façade people present. Deep inside, so many people have these questions. This was a reminder to me to be gentle, patient, and kind. To dole out the benefit of the doubt generously. To acknowledge the inherent pain of the human condition and give people a break.
Be sure to give that grace to yourself, too.
Happy holidays, and I’ll see you again soon with a whole(!) new(!) style(!!!).
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Postscript Golden Retriever