Recipe: Sloppy Joes (Vegan)

Come on down to nostalgia town
Where sloppy joes are lots of fun
There’s a healthy way
to make them, yay
So come on, everyone.

Anytime I think of sloppy joes, I think of this fine piece of cinema.


1 c lentils, well rinsed
2 c water
2 T olive oil
1 medium white onion, half minced, half sliced for serving
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 bell pepper, diced
1 pinch sea salt
1 pinch black pepper
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
2 T sugar
1 T vegan-friendly Worcestershire sauce
1 t chili powder
1 t ground cumin
1 pinch paprika
hamburger buns


  1. In a sieve, rinse lentils thoroughly. In a medium saucepan, bring water and lentils to a low boil, then reduce heat to simmer and cook, uncovered, for about 18 minutes. Drain and set aside.
  2. Meanwhile, heat a large, deep skillet over medium heat. Once hot, stir together oil, minced half of onion, garlic, bell pepper, sea salt and black pepper.
  3. Sauté mixture for five minutes, stirring frequently, until the peppers and onions are tender and beginning to brown.
  4. Stir in tomato sauce, sugar, Worcestershire, chili powder, cumin, and paprika until combined.
  5. Stir lentils into the mixture until combined.
  6. Stirring occasionally, heat mixture over medium-low heat until warmed through and thick, about five minutes.
  7. Taste and, if needed, adjust with sea salt, sugar, Worcestershire, chili powder, or cumin.
  8. Serve on your favorite buns with sliced onion.

This recipe serves four people but, uh, I ate it all in two days. So, in my case, one. It served one.

To reheat, put on stove over low or medium-low heat, adding a splash of water if the mixture has gotten dried out.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 9/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: N/A/10 …because I ate it all.

Adapted from Vegan Sloppy Joes.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Recipe: Spicy Lentil Tacos (Vegan + Gluten-Free)
Recipe: Mujaddara
Recipe: “Chicken Salad”

To subscribe to Bummed Out Baker and get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Twitter for sassy tweets and a sprinkle of nonsense.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Beet Tartare and Cashew Cheese Dip (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

This recipe takes forever to make, but it’s pretty dang good. If you’ve got some sort of sophisticated home event you need to bring a dish to, consider this.


1 c raw cashews, soaked four hours
2 T fresh lemon juice
1 T coconut oil
1 T miso
2 t nutritional yeast
1 t apple cider vinegar
sea salt, to taste
2-3 tablespoons water, as needed
5 small, prepackaged beets*
1 T balsamic vinegar

*You can buy fresh beets and cook them from scratch, but I found the prepackaged, cooked organic beets to be much easier.


  1. After soaking for four hours, drain and rinse cashews.
  2. Place cashews, lemon juice, coconut oil, miso, nutritional yeast, apple cider vinegar, and a pinch of sea salt in a blender. Blend until completely smooth, adding water if necessary.
  3. Transfer cheese to an airtight jar, wrap jar in tea kitchen towel, and let sit overnight.
  4. The next day, preheat oven to 400°F.
  5. Place beets, balsamic vinegar, and another pinch of salt into a food processor. Blend until beets are diced or nearly shredded, not liquified.
  6. Pack cheese into a well-oiled 4″ dish (I used the bottom half of a round glass Tupperware). Do your best to eliminate any air pockets and bake for ten minutes.
  7. Remove from oven and flip onto a plate. The cheese should slide out.
  8. Top with beet tartare and return to the oven for another ten minutes.
  9. Serve warm with your choice of crackers. I chose one of my favorites, Nut Thins.

Serves 8-10 as an appetizer.

Bummed Out Baker Honest Rating: 6/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Honest Rating: 0/10

I took points off due to the recipes high maintenance time, and Rick hates beets, so.

Adapted from Beet Tartare with Cashew Cheese.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Roasted Beets and Sweets
Borscht Topped with Sour Cream

Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: “Chicken” Salad (Vegan)

IMG_2390 You might feel suspicious of this recipe at first, but it’s addicting. It’s been a staple in my diet for nine years and never ceases to satisfy. IMG_2440 Ingredients 1/2 c vegan mayo, like this one 2 t lemon juice 1 T nutritional yeast 1/2 T maple syrup 1/4 t sea salt 1/4 t curry powder 1/4 t black pepper ~10 oz Hilary’s World’s Best Veggie Burger*, cooked and chopped 1/4 c seedless red grapes, halved 1 celery stalk, diced 2 T fresh parsley, chopped whole wheat bread (optional) *Please don’t skimp and buy a sketchy veggie burger. It doesn’t have to be Hilary’s (see ingredients via link), but it should have a recognizable ingredient list and ideally be organic. IMG_2403 IMG_2393
  1. Cook the veggie patties according to package instructions, then chop.
  2. Whisk together the mayo, lemon juice, yeast, syrup, sea salt, curry, and pepper and set aside.
  3. In a separate bowl, combine the patties, grapes, celery, onion, and parsley.
  4. Add mayo mixture to patty mixture and toss until evenly coated.
  5. Serve on toasted bread as a sandwich or over a bed of greens as a salad.
IMG_2398 IMG_2399 This makes fabulous leftovers because the flavors really meld together in the fridge. Serves four. IMG_2432 IMG_2436 Adapted from Skinny Bitch in the Kitch.

More on Bummed Out Bailey: Recipe: No Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe: Super-Easy Snickerdoodles Recipe: Roasted Garlic Lemon Broccoli

Do you love Bummed Out Bailey? The best way you can support me is to share my blog with friends! Another way to support is on my Patreon where you’ll find exclusive content. Your word of mouth and contribution mean more to me than you’ll ever know! To subscribe to Bummed Out Bailey by email, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website and enter your info into the form. I can also be found on InstagramFacebook, and Twitter. If you or someone you know needs help right now, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Israeli Pearl Couscous

If you have some leftover oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes from the Magic Tofu Quiche, we’re about to put them to work! This is one of those dishes you keep eating when you’re really full because it’s just so. damn. good.



1 1/4 c water
2 1/4 c vegetable broth, divided
2 c Israeli pearl couscous*
pinch of sea salt
pinch of black pepper
5 T olive oil, divided
1/2 c pine nuts
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 shallot, minced
1/2 c black olives, chopped
1/3 c oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained and chopped
1/4 c fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped

*Israeli pearl couscous is imperative to use in this recipe as regular couscous makes a vastly different dish.





  1. Bring water and 1 1/4 c of broth  to a boil in a saucepan. Stir in couscous, sea salt, and black pepper. Reduce heat to low and simmer until liquid is absorbed, about eight minutes.
  2. Heat 3 T olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Stir in pine nuts, cooking until pine nuts are toasted and golden brown, about one minute. Remove from heat.
  3. Heat remaining 2 T olive oil in a saucepan. Cook garlic and shallot until softened, about two minutes.
  4. Stir in black olives and sun-dried tomatoes and cook until heated through, about two minutes.
  5. Pour in remaining 1 c broth and bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer until sauce has reduced, about eight minutes.
  6. Combine couscous, sauce, pine nuts, and parsley, mixing well.


Serves eight.

Adapted from Couscous with Olives and Sun-Dried Tomato.

Recipe: Magic Tofu Quiche

This quiche is magical because I spotted a local meat eater going back for seconds. It’s also gluten-free!


“Buckwheat groats” is fun to photograph and fun to say.


Crust Ingredients
1 T ground flax
6 T water, divided
1 c almonds, ground into flour
1 c buckwheat groats, ground into flour
1 t dried parsley
1 t dried oregano
1/2 t sea salt
1 T coconut oil


If you need an ego boost, make a homemade quiche crust.


Filling Ingredients
14 oz block of firm tofu
1 T coconut oil
1 yellow onion, thinly sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
8 oz cremini mushrooms, sliced
1/2 c fresh basil leaves, chopped
1/3 c oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, chopped
1 c spinach
2 T nutritional yeast
1 t dried oregano
1 t sea salt
1 t black pepper
1/2 t red pepper flakes







  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and lightly oil a glass pie dish or quiche dish.
  2. Drain the block of tofu and wrap it in a few tea towels or paper towels. Place a couple of books on top of it to press out the water while you prepare the crust.
  3. Whisk flax and 3 T water in a small bowl and set aside.
  4. In a large bowl, stir together the almond meal, buckwheat flour, parsley, oregano, and sea salt.
  5. Stir in the flax mixture and oil until mostly combined, then add the remaining 3 T of water. The dough should stick together when you press it between your fingers.
  6. Crumble the dough evenly over the base of the pie dish. Starting from the middle of the dish, press the mixture evenly into the dish, working your way outward and up the sides. Poke a few fork holes in the dough so air can escape.
  7. Bake the crust at 350 degrees F for 13 minutes, or until lightly golden and firm to touch.
  8. Increase oven temperature to 375 degrees F.
  9. Break up the tofu block and put into food processor. Process until smooth and creamy. If it doesn’t get creamy, add a tiny splash of coconut milk to help it along.
  10. In a pan, add oil and sauté the onion and garlic over medium heat for a few minutes.
  11. Add the mushrooms and a pinch of sea salt and cook until most of the water cooks off the mushrooms, about ten minutes.
  12. Stir in the basil, tomatoes, spinach, nutritional yeast, oregano, sea salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes and cook until the spinach begins to wilt.
  13. Remove from heat and stir in the creamed tofu until thoroughly combined.
  14. Pour mixture into the crust, smoothing out until even.
  15. Bake uncovered for 30-35 minutes, until the quiche is golden and firm to the touch.
  16. Cool quiche for 20 minutes on a cooling rack before slicing and serving.

Quiche goes great alongside a simple salad for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.




Serves 4-6.

Adapted from Sun-dried Tomato, Mushroom, and Spinach Tofu Quiche.