Recipe: Quinoa Paella (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

I love paella. So much so that a vegetarian iteration was my chosen option to offer at my and Rick’s wedding (alongside Rick’s choice of ribeye, or whatever. Groan zone). When done well, it is 100 the bomb. I’m taking quick breaks from writing to eat it right now.

Ingredients

1 yellow onion, diced
1-2 garlic cloves, minced
2 T olive oil
1 t sea salt, divided
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 orange bell pepper, diced
1 yellow bell pepper, diced
2 T tomato paste
1 bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1″ pieces
random peas from the freezer (optional)
1 1/2 c uncooked quinoa, rinsed
1 t paprika
1/4 t black pepper, freshly ground
1 1/2 c water
2 t vegetable bouillon
1/2 c vegetable broth
lemon slices for garnish (optional)
parsley for garnish, chopped

Instructions

  1. In a large, oven-safe, sauté pan over medium, sauté onions and garlic in olive oil for four minutes.
  2. Add bell peppers and 1/2 t sea salt. Continue cooking for 15 minutes, stirring often.
  3. Add tomato paste, asparagus, and random peas from freezer (optional) and cook for two minutes.
  4. Add quinoa (still uncooked), paprika, remaining 1/2 t sea salt, and black pepper. Sauté for about five minutes, stirring constantly.
  5. Add water and bouillon. Bring mixture to a boil, then lower heat and simmer uncovered for 25 minutes.
  6. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 375°F.
  7. Stir in vegetable broth. Top paella with lemon slices if you like, then transfer pan to oven to bake for ten minutes.
  8. Garnish with parsley and serve.

Serves six.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 8/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 6/10

Are you gonna ruin it with asparagus?

Rick, to me

Adapted from Vegan Gluten Free Quinoa Paella.

More on Bummed Out Baker:
Recipe: Greek Quinoa Salad
Recipe: Cauliflower Queso
Recipe: Roasted Tomato Basil and Rice Soup


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Recipe: Chili (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

Whenever you think of chili do you also think of this v avant garde, ahead of its time video where the guy talks about how he never liked chili?

Either way, welcome to the chili recipe post.

the sun got really aggressive here

I like chili, but if you don’t, this recipe truly might change your mind. It’s perfect for cold months, the fall, football season, vegetarians, or meat eaters trying to pare down on meat consumption without sacrificing a taste they’re accustomed to.

Ingredients

3 packages Hilary’s Organic Spicy Veggie Sausage (or ~20 oz vegetarian meat crumbles)
1 T olive oil
1/2 white onion, chopped
2 bay leaves
1 t ground cumin
2 T dried oregano
1 T sea salt
2 celery stalks, chopped
2 bell peppers, chopped
2 jalapeño peppers, deseeded* and chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 4 oz cans chopped green chili peppers, drained
3 28 oz cans whole peeled tomatoes, crushed
1/4 c chili powder
1 T ground black pepper
1 15 oz can kidney beans, drained
1 15 oz can garbanzo beans, drained
1 15 oz can black beans, drained
2 c frozen corn (or 1 15 oz can whole kernel corn)

*Make sure to deseed your jalapeños. If you don’t, the whole pot will be inedible due to your mouth being on fire. I’ve done the legwork :(

Instructions

  1. In a skillet, cook veggie sausages according to package instructions. When done, set aside to cool.
  2. Heat olive oil in large pot over medium heat.
  3. Stir in the onion, bay leaves, cumin, oregano, and sea salt, cooking until onion is tender.
  4. Mix in celery, bell peppers, jalapeños, garlic, and green chilis. While vegetables are heating through, crumble sausage patties with hands.
  5. Mix in sausage crumbles, reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer mixture five minutes.
  6. After crushing the tomatoes with your hands, which is both cool and gross, mix them into the pot. Stir in chili powder, pepper, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, and black beans. Bring chili to a boil, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 45 minutes.
  7. Finally, stir in corn and continue cooking for five minutes before serving.
  8. For a fabulous flavor profile that mixes spicy and sweet, serve over this cornbread casserole!

Serves like, 14. For real.

Freeze leftovers in 1-2 serving size portions and move from freezer to fridge one day before you’d like to eat it. Reheat on stove, adding a dash of water if chili is looking a little dry.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 9/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 7.5/10

It was good. I don’t like celery.

Rick

Adapted from The Best Vegetarian Chili in the World.

More on Bummed Out Baker:
Pumpkin Spice Creamer (Gluten-Free + Paleo + Vegan)
Sloppy Joes (Vegan)
Why Do I Eat This Way?


Do you love Bummed Out Baker as much as I love creating it? Want to help keep it going? Support here.

To subscribe to Bummed Out Baker by email, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website to find the form. Follow Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild, Facebook for mental health articles and discussion, and Twitter for sassy or informative tweets.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Chole Aloo Tikki (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

What’s up everybody it’s me, mister steal-yo-gurl-with-Indian-food.

season’s greetings! (see what I did there)

Ingredients

2 potatoes
1 T sea salt, divided
1 T cornstarch
1 t ground ginger
1 t ground cumin
1 t cayenne
1 T chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 T ground black pepper
3 1/2 T olive oil, divided
1/2 t black peppercorns
2 whole cloves
2 small dried chili peppers, chopped
1 t cumin seeds
2 bay leaves
1 onion, chopped
1/2 T fresh ginger, grated
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 t curry powder
1 t ground turmeric
1 t tomato paste
1 T water
1 tomato, chopped
1 15 oz can garbanzo beans, drained

Instructions

  1. Place potatoes into a large pot, cover with water, and add 1/2 T sea salt. Bring to boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain and peel potatoes. Peels should slide off pretty easily after boiling!
  2. In a bowl, mash together cooked potatoes, cornstarch, ground ginger, cumin, cayenne, cilantro, remaining 1/2 T sea salt, and pepper. Mash together using a fork, masher, or your hands if you’re feeling wild. And particularly clean. Your hands. Your hands should be clean.
  3. Oil (clean) hands and divide potato mixture into four portions. Pat each into a patty about 1/2″ thick.
  4. Heat 1 T oil in a skillet over medium. Fry potato cakes about three minutes on each side. Then, remove them from skillet, set aside, and keep warm.
  5. Grind peppercorns and cloves with a bullet-type blender or mortar and pestle if you got it like that.
  6. Heat remaining 2 T oil in skillet over medium-high. Stir in chili peppers, cumin, and bay leaves. Then, add onion, fresh ginger, and garlic. Stir until onion is golden, about three minutes. Then, add pepper-clove mixture, curry, and turmeric.
  7. Dilute tomato paste in the water and then stir it and the chopped tomato into the skillet. Cook over medium heat until the tomato has softened, about three minutes. Stir in chickpeas and let mixture flavors meld over low heat for ten minutes.
  8. Take bay leaves out and spoon chickpea mixture over the potato cakes. Sprinkle with cilantro leaves and serve.

Serves four.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 6/10 Spicy, which I like, but a little too time-consuming to make IMHO.
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: N/A – Where was that guy?

Adapted from Indian Chole Aloo Tikki.

More on Bummed Out Baker:
Malai Kofta
Thai Curry Vegetables
Moussaka


Do you love Bummed Out Baker as much as I love creating it? Want to help keep it going? Support here.

To subscribe to Bummed Out Baker by email, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website to find the form. Follow Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild, Facebook for mental health articles and discussion, and Twitter for sassy or informative tweets.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Sloppy Joes (Vegan)

Come on down to nostalgia town
Where sloppy joes are lots of fun
There’s a healthy way
to make them, yay
So come on, everyone.

Anytime I think of sloppy joes, I think of this fine piece of cinema.

Ingredients

1 c lentils, well rinsed
2 c water
2 T olive oil
1 medium white onion, half minced, half sliced for serving
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 bell pepper, diced
1 pinch sea salt
1 pinch black pepper
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
2 T sugar
1 T vegan-friendly Worcestershire sauce
1 t chili powder
1 t ground cumin
1 pinch paprika
hamburger buns

Instructions

  1. In a sieve, rinse lentils thoroughly. In a medium saucepan, bring water and lentils to a low boil, then reduce heat to simmer and cook, uncovered, for about 18 minutes. Drain and set aside.
  2. Meanwhile, heat a large, deep skillet over medium heat. Once hot, stir together oil, minced half of onion, garlic, bell pepper, sea salt and black pepper.
  3. Sauté mixture for five minutes, stirring frequently, until the peppers and onions are tender and beginning to brown.
  4. Stir in tomato sauce, sugar, Worcestershire, chili powder, cumin, and paprika until combined.
  5. Stir lentils into the mixture until combined.
  6. Stirring occasionally, heat mixture over medium-low heat until warmed through and thick, about five minutes.
  7. Taste and, if needed, adjust with sea salt, sugar, Worcestershire, chili powder, or cumin.
  8. Serve on your favorite buns with sliced onion.

This recipe serves four people but, uh, I ate it all in two days. So, in my case, one. It served one.

To reheat, put on stove over low or medium-low heat, adding a splash of water if the mixture has gotten dried out.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 9/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: N/A/10 …because I ate it all.

Adapted from Vegan Sloppy Joes.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Recipe: Spicy Lentil Tacos (Vegan + Gluten-Free)
Recipe: Mujaddara
Recipe: “Chicken Salad”


To subscribe to Bummed Out Baker and get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Twitter for sassy tweets and a sprinkle of nonsense.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Roasted Artichokes (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

A post about roasted artichokes is comically banal following last week’s heavy hitter regarding mental illness and homelessness as it pertains to my brother, Alex.

I’d just like to say how grateful I am for the support I received in regards to that last post. It took a full, painful week to write and, with my mental illness-informed workday, I was often hammering at the keys and staring at the screen until three or four in the morning. For me, those are the worst hours. It was arduous and awful.

I often feel lonely, mentally, and trapped in my own head. My brain feels helplessly impermeable. I’m stuck inside of it hating myself and others are stuck outside of it wondering how I could feel that way about their friend, Bailey. For me to be successful in getting something so intimate and hard to capture in words out into the world, helping people feel connected to others like them, is about all I could hope for.

So, I’ll keep doing my best to take care of myself so I can take care of others. It’s not a martyrdom, but a motivation. Making someone else feel less alone alleviates my loneliness, too.

Thanks, again.


These roasted artichokes are a simple, sightly side to add to any dinner. They look sophisticated AF on a a dining room table.

Ingredients

4 large artichokes, stems and top 1″ removed
1/4 c fresh lemon juice
1/4 c olive oil
4 garlic cloves, peeled
sea salt, to taste
~3 T Earth Balance butter

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 425° F.
  2. Place artichokes stem-side down in a bowl and separate the leaves slightly with your hands.
  3. Drizzle artichokes with lemon juice and olive oil.
  4. Insert a knife blade into the center of each artichoke and (carefully) wiggle around* until you’ve created a space big enough to push in a garlic clove. Press one garlic clove into the center of each artichoke.
  5. Finally, generously season each artichoke with sea salt.
  6. Tightly wrap each artichoke twice with aluminum foil.
  7. Place foil-wrapped artichokes in a baking dish and bake for an hour and 20 minutes.
  8. Remove from oven and allow artichokes to cool for about ten minutes before carefully removing foil. Then cool further, about another ten minutes, so you don’t burn your friends. Or enemies. Why’d you invite your enemies to dinner?
  9. About ten minutes before serving, melt butter over low in a saucepan before pouring into small bowls for individual dipping.

*”Wiggling a knife around” is a delicate technique I learned at Le Cordon Bleu Paris

lovely

Something I love about this recipe is not only that it’s low-maintenance to prepare, but you then get to pop it into the oven and essentially have an hour and a half to work on other items. I find timing out the preparation for a hosted dinner to be just short of rocket science. Everything should be as warm and fresh as possible, and this recipe makes it all a bit more manageable. After a while your loved ones are gonna be like “Why do we get artichokes every time we have dinner at [Bailey]’s house?” and that’s when you tell them, “Listen up assholes, this is actually my in-laws’ house. And…” (I don’t have the rest if the retort planned out yet). Then bring out the red velvet cake. Which they also always get served at your house.

If you get really into artichoke roasting, there are fancy accoutrements like this butter warmer or these artichoke servers or this artichoke plate, the latter of which I frankly don’t understand but… enjoy!

Serves four.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 8/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: ?/10 He was in NYC and I was in Texas when I made this, but I have a feeling that, with his twelve year old palate, it’d be a solid… 1/10 for Rick.

Adapted from Simply Roasted Artichokes.

Related on Bummed Out Baker: 
Roasted Garlic Lemon Broccoli
Roasted Beets and Sweets
Parmesan Garlic Orzo (Gluten-Free + Vegetarian)


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.